The Gonzo Wolf

I find it hilarious that humanity gets disclosure as a throw-away question. Donald Trump has fought to be the official disclosure president since his first term.

President Obama just rolled over his ass on a podcast like a true pimp.

I respect Brian Tyler Cohen as an independent journalist, and I believe Barack Obama to be one of the greatest souls who walks the Earth.

Aliens are real. He never met them. They don’t live at Area 51.

I mean, you don’t technically live somewhere until you receive mail at that address.

Touché, Mr. President. Touché.

Now, it might be a good time to sit down with your family, friends, and neighbors to have a heart to heart regarding the book. You know, the book? Has it been the redacted version all along? What else has been removed? Is it even real?

Look, I don’t know who they are or what they represent, but they’re a thing now. All I ask is that you don’t feel hopeless and hurt yourself. Reach out to someone; even me. I’ll try to help talk you through it. We’ll have to get over this together as a species. Remember together?

And there you have it.

February 15th 2026. President Obama said aliens are real. I told my wife. She said, “cool,” moved my hair out of the way, kissed my forehead, and went to bed. That was it. There was no grand ceremony; there was no musical tone mystery and a trip to Devil’s Tower. Obama casually said it on a podcast.

And nothing was ever the same again, but much sooner for those who don’t block every word coming from his mouth, just because it’s a black thing.

Racist cucks. You deserve to be probed in the second round; after all their butt tools have already been broken in.

Preach truths, toke jokes, and shoplift Amazon. I hope they’re beautiful. Not in a ‘societally acceptable in 2026’ way, but in a universally spiritual sort of way.

Space stoners.

I need to know that 52 years of my life was a lie, and that my silly ass was just a product of closeted society.