The Gonzo Wolf

The better mousetrap was invented without ceremony.

No memo, no spread sheet, no pizza party.

Just the disappearance of old-style mousetraps and the appearance of new ones.

Decades of seeking such, and there it was.

Seriously, the president didn’t even comment on Troth Senchel (purposely).

Ken Paxton had no idea you could use them to catch Furries in school bathrooms.

Told Ken to set the fuckers up since he’d already be there.

Snooping.

I poop in bathrooms and never really cared what the person in the next stall was up to.

Honestly, I always found it strange to be so bathroom-curious.

Hundreds of people go to the bathroom with Ken Paxton and, statistically, one of them has seen.

What does he do? Sniff, inspect, check fart acoustics?

Come in a bathroom playing Matlock.

I dare you.

I will HEBeat that ass, since, statistically, that’s where it would happen.

They’re really spreading out.

Six little mousetraps sitting in a row, snapping weiners as they go.

Glory holes in Abbott’s seat, Grindr servers in defeat.

You could work a broomstick like his parking brake if you angled it correctly, or pole-vault him.

Being impaled for the sake of mercy is off the table, Vlad; next?

Do you ever think he prarie-dogs so it’ll feel like someone loves him?