porch swing

  • Feel of Christmas: Dallas Edition

    Wind chimes and chapped lips brought on by unseasonably warm breezes. What the hell does unseasonably mean? Unseasonably compared to what? Where our ancestors came from? Another country? Another continent? I’ve lived in North Texas most my life and this is seasonably normal. The deep-south and southwest have been fooled from the dawn of cinema.

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  • F**k Merry; Be Pippin

    F**k Merry; Be Pippin

    It’s 66 degrees on Christmas eve. I’m outside dressed like Trump after he rolled out of bed with Clinton. At least, that’s how the creep looks in my mind. Personally, I wouldn’t have turned down Clinton either. I had a COVID fever dream where I met him and Hillary on a rope bridge on a

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