I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve always been one of those who could knock one out daily, but the times are changing. I just don’t have it in me.

Seriously. How does someone my age keep playing videogames with a fifty hour story? We’re getting close to the coffin, folks, and I’ve got things to do.

I’ve also noticed that I’m beginning to shy away from movies as well. That sucks, because I own almost a thousand of them.

What do I do instead?

I still play the arcade games from my youth, and even a few newer indie titles here and there. I run through Dead Cells when I can. That maybe takes half an hour on a good day. That’s about as much as you’re getting from me when it comes to game attention.

Gone are the days of emotional involvement with The Last Of Us or sacrificing my first born to Ganon. Someone else can step up and accept the quest. I’m tired. Game Over.

This morning, I began playing Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order for the first time. As a Star Wars junkie, I’d heard it would change my life. It lulled me into a false sense of security with the familiar IP sights and sounds and, after the first couple of levels, turned into Tomb Raider. Thise weren’t  my favorite genre; I still have original Playstation Lara Croft nightmares. They were cones!

The platforming and constant backtracking irritates the crap out of me, and I get lost easily in HEB. How are they expecting me to navigate a junked Star Destroyer?

These are the kinds of games that could end a marriage. Pac Man is so much safer, and, like most marriages, it’s usually over with as soon as it begins.

I recall skipping school as a teen and blasting through the original Legend of Zelda in a few hours or so. Then came Final Fantasy VII. It was on multiple discs!

The games just kept getting longer and more complex, and I desired to focus more on writing and music. If I recall, the last lengthy game I ran through was Resident Evil 7 on PS4 almost ten years ago. I was at the height of my alcoholic self destruction, going through both a divorce and a bad break up at the same time, and recently diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Have you played that game? It’s not recommended for people with the above mentioned problems.

Truth be told, I traded that Playstation 4 for the Ibanez acoustic I learned on. Doing so may have inadvertently saved my life.

I will always love videogames, especially the ones I grew up with, but this morning’s “toe in the water” experiment was a failure. A “game” is something we’re supposed to enjoy, right?

It didn’t feel much like a game to me.

Geez; Just listen to me.

I remember vividly giggling at bitchy old men when they would say stuff like this. I also remember still sort of snickering when I’d add, “and I’ll look back on this moment and laugh…”

BS. This sucks.

I wonder how far I could’ve made it in life if I’d picked a direction and stuck with it?

But how boring of a bastard would I have been?

Preach truths, toke jokes, and shoplift Amazon.

I’ll try that next time. Just like those damned videogames. Continue? Reboot? Who knows.