What we need –

I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to include everyone in that title. It’s a broad, but specific “we”. We need re-education.

You see, the government went on the cannabis smear-train right about the time old school Neanderthals got their version of social media: radio and television.

The timber industry was beginning to see an increase of hemp-derived miracles and feared for their profits. So, they threatened to withhold campaign funds. That, in turn, triggered the politicians. So, they did what they still do to this very day. They told Hollywood and preachers.

The preachers then told their flocks far and wide that it was the devil’s lettuce and it would make you masturbate to death (I misspelled “masturbate” and spell-check caught it; that says something). Hollywood produced “Reefer Madness“; I’ll let you do your own research on that one. I actually own a copy of this film to watch while I’m stoned.

Eventually, those sheep who fell victim to the propaganda became our grandparents, who scolded us with wagging fingers for reeking of Snoop’s sock drawer – Screw him, by the way. I haven’t forgotten that he talked smack about Lord Fold-a-mort and then bent the knee to perform at the inauguration. Why have you forgotten?

Lord Vulva-wart? Which do you prefer?

Anyway, that generation has all but died off, but the ideology hasn’t shifted quickly enough. This is due to generational ignorance. If MooMoo & PooPoo said it, then it must be true (Insert old school Disney “Goofy” laugh here). All the way to Washington, baby.

Anyway, society needs re-education. Seth Rogan is just one man. He can’t do it alone.

Preach truths, toke jokes, and shoplift Amazon. I hope everyone who reads this has a beautiful hump day. Go forth and hump something, otherwise the Great Hump-War of 1869 was for naught. I mean, what do I know? I can’t officially back any of this up with paperwork. It’s 9am, I’m eating spring rolls, and listening to Alice Cooper.

Still, I appear to be some sort of expert regarding such shenanigans…

Who are we to include ourselves into the dealings of trees?

The ghosts walk above…

PS – I have a colonoscopy scheduled for next Friday at the VA (aka my best friend and my ex-wife’s birthday; fate). No one is answering the phone. Did the government shutdown affect them as well? I don’t know if I want a line-jumper to stick a camera and flashlight up my butt. At least, not again.

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