The Gonzo Wolf

I wanted to sit on this one a few days before I wrote it. I hope it comes out okay, because I’m still not sure what I want to say. Wish me luck?

Until then, let’s see what the fine folks at Wikipedia have to say about this film (donate to them if you can, please):

The Abyss is a 1989 American science fiction film written and directed by James Cameron and starring Ed Harris, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, and Michael Biehn. When an American submarine sinks in the Caribbean, a U.S. search and recovery team works with an oil platform crew, racing against Soviet vessels to recover the boat. Deep in the ocean, they encounter something unexpected.

The film was released on August 9, 1989 by 20th Century Fox, receiving generally positive reviews and grossed $90 million. At the 62nd Academy Awards, it was nominated for four Academy Awards, winning Best Visual Effects.

The Rev-iew:

Yes, I’m just now watching this film for the very first time, and I’m so glad I did. The Abyss released while I was in high school (The same year I got my driver license and lost my virginity; TMI, but it really puts you there), and I wouldn’t have appreciated it then. I went to the movies weekly, but it was just a cheap place to mess with chicks in the dark.

Long live Gen X.

I attended a UFO/UAP event a few nights ago in Austin put on by a couple of incredible YouTubers. This film was mentioned more than once, even by Bob Lazar. That said, I knew I needed to see it with more adult, curious eyes. I mean, Bob Lazar, right?

What I received was a rollercoaster of claustrophobia and open-mouth’d discovery. It’s beautiful.

I guess I always figured that I didn’t need to see The Abyss because I’d already seen Terminator 2. I know they’re not related, but the world wouldn’t stop salivating over the special effects technology back in the nineties. Abyss gave birth to T2 in a way, and then Jurassic Park burst through the door with a six pack and loaded bong. Also, I was raised in a town full of rednecks who couldn’t get over the whole “aliens in the water, hyuck-hyuck” thing. Bitches: aliens in the water makes much more sense than aliens in the sky; but that’s math.

I said “math”, not meth. Calm down.

The version I watched was the James Cameron Special Edition from the early 2000’s, and it had THIRTY MINUTES of scenes added back in. People went gaga for The Abyss long before then, and I don’t recall anyone describing the special edition as a religious experience upon its DVD release. Maybe as a test of a sound system, but not much else. Also, I’m not aware if Cameron altered any of the special effects to take advantage of the twenty-year jump in technology, but nothing seemed out of place. Like Terminator 2, the difference is a vanity project spawned by George Lucas himself a decade prior.

As far as science-fiction movies are concerned, this sits on a shelf with the likes of “Close Encounters”, “Blade Runner”, and “Aliens”. The nearly three-hour runtime never felt tired, though. This is a “lights out, girlfriend shut up” chef’s kiss to the year 1989.

Actually, nerds who believed in aliens – even underwater aliens – didn’t have girlfriends in 1989. That didn’t begin happening until “The Big Bang Theory” premiered and big-bangs mall chicks realized how much money scientists made annually. They lowered their “Jake Ryan” standards with a quickness.

Also…we know how to “do” things, you know? Sex IS science, ladies.

If you really want to have discussions regarding aliens in the water, please listen to the Area 52 podcast or watch the new documentary, “Age of Disclosure”. You can get straight down to the nitty-gritty without sifting through my personal nonsense.

The Abyss is very well deserved five stars of a film, and more relevant today than more will understand.

5/5