The Gonzo Wolf

It’s my kind of Saturday living in an artsy-fartsy, tourist neighborhood; ten degrees above freezing. That means, most of the poons are in hiding; either playing Call of Duty or bitching about him playing Call of Duty. Just take the pit bull outside to take a dump, wash his car, and exhibit a few more negative, media-driven neighborhood stereotypes. Minimal worries, dude. Your bestie will take her out shopping while you’re at work. It’s what guys like me do/did.

I stood in an indie bookstore dressed like Holden Caulfield for ten minutes and not a single person, employee or patron, made a Catcher In The Rye comment. I’ve lost all faith in the human race.

I still purchased a book; lack of vision by staff aside. I can’t believe such an amazing film came from this tiny novella. There’s hope for Starving Zoe yet!

Next, I went into the record store that barely sells records from when they were a ‘thing’. Yes, they’re a thing now, but it’s a collector ‘thing’ that costs big bucks. I meant when they were the ONLY thing, other than 8-Track and Reel to Reel. I saw this baby for $35 and couldn’t pass it up. A fair trade.

I love my neighborhood – I truly do – but it’s all valet parking and trust-fund baby pop-up bars now. The comic store closed, the Grilled Cheese Factory left, and my favorite Afghani joint switched weekend hotspots. The pandemic didn’t kill it all as once believed. It’s developers who want to see mirror images of Lowest Greenville and Deep Ellum have caused the rent to skyrocket.

What’s the point of having three identical party hoods? What’s the draw without variety? Everyone would just go to whichever one is closest to them rather than eventually visiting all three; sometimes within the same night or weekend! That’s how we did it back in the Gen X party days. It’s all about social media attention now instead of what real people want in the moment. This is why old people don’t care when they die. The generation gap tends to bring out the pointless in whoever’s next on the chopping block.

Preach truths, toke jokes, and shoplift Amazon. Lazy Nirvana Saturday sounds terrific.

Want to chill with me?