It’s obvious now that some type of lycanthropic wimp has taken up residency in my neighborhood park. Both a shredded squirrel and rabbit in consecutive days. Or it’s a dog. Feel free to live in your boring world.

In honor of our fallen, woodland/urban transplants, I chose to devour a Jack In The Box Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger. I try to limit my fast food intake to once per week, as well as soda. I can’t help but think the dead animals got off light before getting their paws on my discarded leftovers. For all they know, this could be some of their kinfolk slapped between gov’t cheese & two plastic buns. The only thing that’s real is the bag, and that’s environmentally cursed.

If there’s anything The Walking Dead taught me, it’s that anything is a weapon. It just had a delayed fuse, my JITB. Maybe I should make a sign that reads Eat Like LIFE Lives Here.

Two dragonflies f*cking just crossed my path, which is a good omen in my world. If those unique bastards can get laid, then anyone can, and that should mean something to some of you. Lake Cliff Park isn’t known for its sex appeal, but sexy is subjective. Someone reading this could have a rager this very moment!

The winds cool with each fleeting moment as the gathering storm clouds reach their two day crescendo. Summer’s final breaths reek of exhaustion, and it’s about damned time.

Preach truths, toke jokes, and shoplift Amazon.

Have a wonderful Wednesday. Touch a tree, just not during a lightning storm.

Has modern science debunked that? Like measles or space herpes?