The Gonzo Wolf

We’re living in a world now where wars are fought with bombs…and retaliatory Lego videos. The rich can kill and insult at will with little chance of repercussions because the tech giants softened the blow. Metaphorical or virtual consequences hurt much less in the grand scheme of things.

Between grand and step children, I can’t help but think they believe life is like Facebook. They say, do, and act however they want, believing there’s a delete or back button to make it all better. I guess when we have a society of seventeen-year-old middle schoolers like we did in the mid 80’s, someone of importance will take notice. There were like a dozen of those guys in my 7th grade PE class. They had cars and let me bum cigarettes. That was back when they were only a dollar per pack! The good brands! Now, smokers have to take out payday loans.

Also, while the shit-kids are pretending to be YouTubers without a tube, they’re depressing the hell out of their already pre-depressed parents who are too preoccupied with death, taxes, and pedophilic, Iranian-made Lego videos to enforce the basics.

My parents would’ve beaten the stupid right out of me and went on with their daily lives without a second thought. I’m not saying that’s the right answer, but giving kids who’ve barely lived past double digits the keys to the kingdom through social media is just plain ignorance.

In the early 2000’s, while my generation was busy learning how to belittle old classmates through a keyboard shield and sword, our children were left up to their own devices; looking over our shoulders and assimilating our every move. Granted we did the same as children, but our devices weren’t as catastrophic.

One of these reality-numbed cucks tried to steal my bicycle again last night, not knowing I sleep just beyond the wall with several weapons within reach. Guns, swords, nunchucks, big freaking sticks, kitchen knives, olive forks; humans fail to learn through pain because it’s been illegalized. Starting tonight, I’ll cease sleeping with my white noise machine so I can hear what’s going on.

I have tickets to see Alice Cooper tonight, and I can’t even give them away. Every day that passes in this world is another I barely recognize, and I’m only 52! I hope the judge takes that into consideration when they bring me before him; soaked in someone else’s blood and laughing maniacally.

Preach truths, toke jokes, and shoplift Amazon. I just bought a ten foot chain and padlock from there. Again. I should probably write all those combinations down somewhere. Or use the thief’s bolt cutters after I hog-tie them.