love
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What a lousy thing to say, but it’s the truth. My wife asked how I stood there filming in the presence of screaming children and faces gushing blood; all while the heat of a demolished, yet still burning, apartment complex threatened to singe my facial hair. How? I didn’t have anything else to do. The…
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Did we die during the pandemic? Unaware of our fates as a result of the disease? Perhaps they engineered it that way. We’ll never know, and it’s mostly because we all don’t care enough to inquire; collectively. We’re stuck in an endless Hell-loop, fighting and clawing the eyes of the gear-headed baseball-dad’s belting out their…
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Prince Connor Wrath is beyond bored with his royal lifestyle. Receiving nothing but the most mundane tasks in the name of his kingly father, and even less respect than the court jester, he dreams of a life beyond the land of Lynnwood. There’s only one catch: The gods of old have forbade travel past the…
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This was how I spent my day: Pac Man, guitar, SRV, repeat. It’s dual-vinyl, so there’s enough Stevie to go around. I’m not a bum; I got all the important things done early so I could play all afternoon. There were recordings made, but they weren’t good enough to share. I’m still tweaking all the…
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Well, good morning, all you shiny, happy people. That’s a lot of commas. Allow me to set the mood… This is the greatest debut album in the history of music. I can almost imagine the midnight journeys of Del & Axl navigating the Los Angeles wasteland in search of whiskey. The mid-eighties were a special…
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Good morning, all you shiny, happy people. Allow me to set the tone… I’ve got this spinning on vinyl next to me, and it’s truly reflecting the day. I caught glimpse of someone sizing up the moat, and I ventured to meet them with the Noisy Cricket. Luckily, it was only the HOA guy, who…
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First off, let me set the mood. I’ve got this spinning on vinyl next to me, and it’s really tickling all the right spots. So, I’m camped out on the couch having an existential crisis, when I remember I pay a hundred or so bucks a year for this domain. Writing is my therapy. Writing…
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The one thing I can’t seem to get off my mind lately is how I’m going to find her again. Through much trial and massive errors, I’ve landed on that miracle square much later in life than most. I’m talking about my wife. Even by the beliefs of the more commercialized religions, I’d be lucky…
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There’s an old guy (well, he’s older than me) in my neighborhood who I refer to as The Fixer. I have no idea who he is or where he comes from, but I know his purpose. If you hail from the rural south like I do, this guy’s infamous. Every minority “community” has one and,…
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We’re living in a world now where wars are fought with bombs…and retaliatory Lego videos. The rich can kill and insult at will with little chance of repercussions because the tech giants softened the blow. Metaphorical or virtual consequences hurt much less in the grand scheme of things. Between grand and step children, I can’t…
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The coffee touched my lips without springing much of a wake-up call. Is this going to be another dreadful Monday? I haven’t even bothered to check the weather. I’m failing as an old man. My schedule this morning says I’ve set aside time to work on the script and a song, but I’m already being…
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I turned down a trip to see the new Super Mario Galaxy movie. If I wanted to be distracted by a bunch of flashy colors and Mad Libs narration, I’d watch Fox News. At least that’s not a hundred dollar outing considering admission, fuel, parking, snacks/food, and Alamo Drafthouse’s automatic 18+% gratuity. A casual weekend…
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I’ve been keeping secrets from everyone, but for a good reason. It was none of your business, and I wanted to make absolutely sure I was experiencing what I believed to be experiencing. She’s holding up her end of the bargain. The above photo is a g-spot joke, in case you found it funny. Most…
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I’m going to make you click on it. Trust me, it’s the least you could do.
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Is it like this for everyone? I can’t ask anyone else because no one speaks to me. I’m not exaggerating in the slightest. Even complete strangers, who I’ve never screwed over, act as though they can see right through me. I think we all died on Y2K. I wished for this at some point. I…
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Prepare yourselves; this isn’t going to be easy for you to hear. Then again, perhaps I was the odd-one-out all those years and this is totally normal? That’s not necessarily a question, I’m just using the question mark for inflection. Not totally sure if that’s allowed within the rules of the English language but, again,…
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This morning, for the first time in months, I decided to get a bit more ‘motivated’. If you follow, then you already know where I’ve been all winter; here. Now that the annual thaw commences, I can start implementing all these crazy ideas I’ve had bouncing around in my head since before the holidays. I’ll…
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Well good morning, all you shiny, happy people! It’s The Reverend; who would’ve thunk it? Well, probably all of you by now. I LOVE IT when the WordPress AI image generator absolutely refuses to create a cover photo from my subject matter. Eat wieners, Skynet! The schizophrenic upstairs was finally taken away by the police…
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Snow-dumb. It’s a sensation that overtook me quite a few times as a professional driver. You spend so much time fixated on a field of white rolling along, mile-to-mile, and your brain blurs. I’d forgotten about it until a few minutes ago. Hell hath no career like truck-driving. I left my truck unlocked and wide-open…
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We’re the laughing stock of the world (we’ve been for a decade), there’s winter weather on the way to Dallas, and Ted Cruz is already on a plane. I’ve played this game before. All bullshit aside, how are you? I was speaking with a neighbor a few moments ago about him getting gypped on web…
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Random spit from the porch swing; let’s set the mood… I’ve been divorced three times and married four. It’s nothing to brag about, with more stupidity on my part than either of the three other women combined. I let it all transpire until things got out of control. Eventuality? Divorce. Inevitability, whether we liked it…
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A long time ago, in a rural-on-the-cusp-of-suburban neighborhood not far away, I ran into my first real person from TV Land. I was a kid; I didn’t know better. I truly thought that since he was from California, he probably knew movie stars. We start out dumb, and some of us stay there. Throughout the…
The Gonzo Wolf 